In a rare, in-depth interview, actress Lauren London sat down with Angie Martinez for the first episode of her new podcast IRL to talk about everything from how she's coping after the tragic loss of her life partner, Nipsey Hussle following his murder in 2019, to her evolving relationship with God and herself.

In the nearly 50-minute interview, titled "We're All Going to Die," London shared how she now views death. “You don’t know [how to face the fear of death] until it’s at your front door. The front row at the funeral is different […] it shifts your perspective on life, makes you see that life’s short and it’s a gift.”

She said it was actually Diddy who convinced her to get dressed and show up to speak at Nipsey's funeral. “I felt like it was surreal, and I felt like—I can honestly say God was carrying me through that. That was all God. I wasn’t even gonna get dressed. I was gonna wear sweats,” she recalled.

Then Diddy pulled her aside. “Look Boog, you have showed everybody what it looks like to hold a man down and to love him. Now, show them what it looks like when it all crumbles," she remembered Diddy, who previously worked with Nipsey, including on his official debut album, Victory Lap, telling her. "That’s your responsibility […] Show up with your head up.”

After the funeral, London says everything kind of faded. “I was like, ‘Oh sh*t, you in this.’ It’s a tunnel, baby and you gotta walk through it. It’s no shortcuts out," she said. "You can’t turn back around ’cause it’s nothing back there and all you see is pitch black ahead. You don’t know how long this tunnel is and ain’t nobody in it with you… whew."

In the end, she said it was her kids, Kameron (12) and Kross (5) who helped her change her perspective. “My kids deserve happiness," she said. "My kids deserve a very happy mom. They deserve joy. Why would I rob them of that?”

Earlier this month, Nipsey's murderer, Eric Holder, was found guilty of first-degree murder. As for London, she's slated to star in the Jonah Hill/Kenya Barris film, You People this year. Watch the interview below.